How to Talk to your Partner About Money

Ahhh money. Let’s be honest, no one really enjoys talking about it. Especially not with another person. And even more so when that other person happens to be the person you share your finances with. Can I get an amen?!

Unfortunately money is the #1 reason why couples argue, and eventually end up splitting. Money was created by mankind to facilitate the trading of goods and services, but it has become much more than that. Each of us has our own unique money “story”, how we grew up with money and how we really feel about the stuff. Our attitude towards money is partly based on how our parents, grandparents and other influential people viewed and used money. You can see why when two people get together and share money, there can be differences! If you and your partner on not on the same page about your finances, it can cause stress on your relationship, and no one wants that!

Today I want to give you a few tips on how to talk to your partner about money to make it a little easier on yourselves.

Let’s jump in!

How to Talk to your Partner about Money:

1) Schedule time for it.

Plan a certain day and time of the week where you will sit down and discuss your finances and what’s going on. You can review your transactions together, look at your balances and bills, discuss expenditures coming up, or even just talk about how you are feeling about your current financial situation and brainstorm steps to improve it.

2) Make this time fun!

Pour yourself a glass of wine or beer, do it while taking a nice walk outside, turn on some music you both enjoy. Talking about finances does not have to be all doom and gloom. Find ways to lighten the mood.

3) Use “I” statements.

Instead of pointing your finger at your partner and their downfalls, use statements such as “I feel ______ when you do _____” to take the blame off. Instead of asking or demanding that they change their behaviors, state it as “I would like _______ to happen” The goal is to have an open and honest conversation about how you are both feeling, without offending the other or making them feel like they need to defend themselves.

4) Discuss your values, goals and priorities.

What do you really want out of life? What are the things you like to spend your money on? If you had unlimited money, how would you spend it? These questions can help guide you.

5) Find commonalities and make compromises.

Review those values, goals and priorities and determine what you both have in common. What are the areas you agree with? Disagree with? Then, outline a few that you do agree on and how you will send your money towards those as well as a few that you may individually value and how you will make that work. It may take some lengthy discussion and compromise, but when each partner is happy within the relationship then the relationship tends to run smoother overall!

6) Talk about the long game.

Speaking of goals, what does the long game look like for your family? Do you want to eventually own a home on a lake? (ahem, that’s us!) Try and retire a certain number of years early? Is it important that you take your family on a vacation each year (or save up for a special trip every certain number of years) or that the two of you get away as a couple? What things do you want to do that require some planning in advance?

7) Don’t sacrifice the short term.

It can be easy to get caught up in the fun of future planning. However, I hate to see couples suffer in the short term because of their long term goals. I truly do believe that life is meant to be lived well and enjoyed in the here and now. Because let’s face it, not a single one of us knows when our time will be up! Don’t forgo your happiness today for a future that is not promised. On the flip side, don’t sabotage your long term success in the short term by not fully understanding the bigger picture and how you will get there.

Alright you guys, that is how to talk to your partner about money in a nutshell! Which of these have you tried before? Which will you think about trying? Leave me a comment and let me know! I love hearing from you.

Until next time…cheers to your abundance!

Katie O.

P.S. - If you’re feeling discouraged about how you and your partner currently handle your finances, book a free consult call to see if I can help you get on the same path. The best part? It’s free! Click here to book.