Saying Goodbye To Shoulda

I originally posted this on my site, but feel it fits well here at SSoL (Simple Slice of Life!). Although my life is looking a little different these days as I'm no longer teaching, the same concepts hold true. I'm posting this a reminder to myself, and hopefully, to you as well.

It has to do with the dreaded ‘Shoulda’.

I noticed myself saying it the other day. If you’re unfamiliar, it goes something like this:

I shoulda worked out longer.

I shoulda blogged today.

I shoulda ate better for lunch (or usually that’s in the form of ‘I shouldn’t have eaten that!’).

I shoulda done this, I shoulda done that.

I shoulda (basically insert anything here).

The list goes on…

When I’m on a regular scheduled routine, my ‘shoulda’ moments are usually less frequent. I get up early, go to work, come home, try to get some type of workout in, make dinner, eat dinner, and blog (or get things done on the computer). Obviously there are other things thrown in there (the usual grocery, laundry, etc. errands). And during soccer season I omit working out (for the most part!) and making dinner (or the time allotted for making dinner is extremely cut short).

During the summer though, my schedule looks a little different. I still work in the weight room and coach soccer 5 days/week, but I’ve got a little more flex time as a teacher on summer break. This summer has been busy so far, with buying a house, wedding planning, and getting things together for high school soccer season (and the tryouts I’m running for the soccer club I work for!). I’ve also completed my 200-hour yoga teaching license this summer, and have a week-long economics course and a week-long soccer coaching course coming up. Like I said, plenty of things going on.

But it’s due to the unstructured nature of my day that I’m saying things like all of the shoulda statements above.

The one that really gets me is ‘I shoulda worked out more/longer/at all’ and any shoulda statements that have to do with food. I want to scream at myself and say “No, I shouldn’t have!”. I didn’t want to work out, or I did the best I could with the time I had. Or even though I eat healthy 99% of the time, I just wanted french fries for lunch! And what’s the harm in that? 

But really, every shoulda statement needs to be taken out of my vocabulary. There just really is no need.

Every day, we do the best we can with what we have, what we know, and who we are.
— -someone wise

Luckily for us, we are always growing (or hopefully are!). Always learning how to do things more efficiently, how to better care for ourselves, manage our time, and make smarter decisions for our life.

So today, I’m saying goodbye to shoulda. Life is too short to be having guilt or regret over something (virtually insignificant) that we didn’t have time for, that we didn’t do as well as we thought we should have, that we didn’t…whatever. It truly does. not. matter.

I invite you to evaluate your shoulda statements, and really ask yourself if they are necessary (and likely you’ll find that nope, they are not!). If so, say goodbye to shoulda with me! It’s a freeing way to think. To tell yourself that you did the best you could, and that there is always tomorrow (or the next day, or the next).